adventures in cat bathing

welp, it's been 11 days since my last confession.

feels like 30 seconds.

this has been the one of the most ridiculous stretches of a week and a half.  like, ever.

1. we bought a tiny little fixer upper.  it's adorably small.  and perfect for us.

*don't worry.  there's a big 'ol basement under there.  a big 'ol creepy basement.  to keep... things.

2. buying this house means we are staying in tropical ohio until... forever.  or at least until the kids are done with school.  which seems like forever.  and that has been fun to tell our friends and family.  they're all handling the news with happiness and joy.  my parents especially.  seriously, so ecstatic.  

3.  about 27 seconds after we put a contract on the house (48 hours after it hit the market), the owners of the house we are renting, also decided to put this house on the market.  5 days later.

insert total freakin' chaos.

i had to have the house MLS ready in a few days.  and open house ready a few days after that.  

ho-lee-crap.

4.  that brings us to mother's day.  it was pretty magical.  always is.  my hubs and i spent the day moving extra furniture out of the house.  and i started listing a million things on those facebook online garage sale sites. 

we have moved around 84 times with a wide variety of furniture and trinkets because we never knew what the next house would allow or need.  it's been great fun.  now that we are staying put, we know.  we have a lot of shit.

so, for anyone who has ever used those facebook groups, you probably know: people. are. crazy.

i made the mistake (or good decision) to list multiple items at once, causing a buyer's frenzy.  people wanted things and NIL (next in line) for things they didn't even know they wanted or needed.  because other people were interested.  so they swept in like vultures.  and i spent the day glued to my phone, like a 13 year old girl, trying to facilitate the messages and comments and go down the line in order.  77 messages and 168 comments later, i sat down on the couch and logged into facebook on my laptop.  and this happened:

 

seems like a blessing.  24 hours without facebook.  

it wasn't.

i had scheduled for 6 people to pick up their purchases the next day.  through facebook.  i didn't know their names.  they didn't know my address.  i couldn't contact anyone.  

so i cried.  for like 2 hours.  

5.  monday was game on for cleaning out the house.  and 2 people showed up to pick up their stuff anyway.  even though i couldn't contact them.  and i'm not exactly sure how they knew where i lived.  or if i'd be home.  but whatever.  and swim practice. 

6. tuesday i tackled the kids' rooms.  and an inspection at the new house.  and went through the list of facebook people again.  and sent a million messages.  and apologies.  and people showed up to get their things.  and swim practice.  and a track meet.

7.  wednesday MLS pictures.  and swim practice.  

8.  thursday relax.  nope.  house starts to be shown.  i go to target.  yes, target.  and wait for it.

i went to the restroom.  because i downed 2 5 cups of coffee trying to get through the morning.

and nothing exciting happened.  but i still feel like a rebel.  

9.  friday 3 showings. and 3 pick ups for facebook sales.  

10. saturday swim meet in what might as well have been egypt for one kid.  district track meet for the other.  

and showing the house. 

11. sunday open house.  which led to this.

2 "adults", 2 kids, 3 cats and a dog in the car.  to drive around for 2 1/2 hours.  

15 minutes in, one cat pukes in the crate.  i cleaned it up before any catastrophe.  pat on the back, stacy.  it was gross, but well done.  16 minutes in, he peed.  AND pooped.  all over both cats in the crate.  

have you ever smelled a porta potty? in july?  in the desert?  that's been there for 14 years?  

i think we rode around with one for 2 more hours.  

and then i bathed them.  it was like bathing linda blair from the exorcist.  with claws.  and fur. 

the end.

-stacy

throwback de mayo

happy cinco de mayo, folks.  i thought i'd celebrate today with a little throw back thursday.  

and chips and salsa.  and a margarita.  i'm not that lame.  geez.

i'm going to throw things back to my first born.  this week i had to send in a "younger" picture of this chick for her 8th grade slideshow.  8th grade.  that means high school is around the corner.  

high school.  like driving.  and drama. and prom. and graduation.  

someone made the comment recently that we only have 4 more christmases with the girls before they leave.  i know high school is 4 years, but 4 christmases sounds so... tragic.  

i'm going to be sick.  

how can this kid be old enough for high school?  wasn't this yesterday?  she was so little.  i was also little.  okay, smaller.  i was smaller.

she hadn't even started kindergarten.  it felt like i'd already had her forever, and she was only 4. 

 that seems like a million years ago.  and yesterday.

how can she start high school if she literally JUST had her first day of 2nd grade?  

and picked out that horrible outfit all by herself.  i had to iron the collar.  

i don't iron.  

and she's wearing crocs, but i cropped those out of the picture.  because i'm a good mom, and she'll thank me someday.  

i know people always say "it goes by so fast" and "you'll blink and they're grown up" and all that stupid cliche crap.  i never bought into to any of that.  

it has gone by fast.  too fast.  but man, what a ride it's been.  

we've played dress up.  

okay, not always "dress up".  sometimes we've played "mom is in a panic to finish these halloween costumes that she just started at o' dark thirty the night before.  yeah yeah, i know it's not comfortable.  just smile and pretend you're having fun". 

but that's kind of like dress up in my book.  she's a tomboy at heart anyway.  at least i wanted her to be.  because that's what i am.  

she's a high maintenance princess.

but sometimes we played dress up down.  i'm pretty sure this picture would trump the crocs i mentioned earlier in the hate department.  

here's the thing, we lived on the 16th floor of a tiny apartment in nowhere, virginia.  it was supposed to be for just 4 months.  it turned into 8.  creativity and excitement was worn thin by month 2.  

and we had a cool new camera.  

and a concrete balcony.  

i'm pretty sure there's a special place in hell for parents like us.    

these are the pictures i sent in for the slideshow.  

they make me sad.

she's perfect.  

she has always been perfect.  

even if she drools a little while she's sleeping.  

-stacy

this is him. and her. and other him.

here we are folks.  this is us. not much has changed. i'm 29 in this picture, so this is when time stood still. 

sure, the kids have gotten bigger.  and stopped wearing diapers.  and possibly stopped letting us hold them like this in family photos. possibly.  although, i'd like to recreate this picture soon.  #bucketlist

20+ pounds on all parties involved in this picture is beside the point.  the point is, stop judging.

the hunky dude on the right, is my hubby.  i like him.  he's neat. and i know he loves me because he likes correcting my grammar.  and he politely changes the radio station when a pop song comes on that i like love.  because pop music is terrible and i should listen to system of a down. and volbeat. and such.

this chick. my first born. she made me a mom.  it was the best job that anyone could give me.  and she continues to keep me challenged at said job on a daily basis.  she has great hair and a heart of pure gold. neither of which she inherited from me. 

she is unknowingly hilarious most of the time. 

and gosh, she's pretty.  she loves her family, her friends, evan peters from american horror story, my clothes and shoes, and acting like a goofball.  

she's a soccer player, a singer, a swimmer and a drama queen. she bleeds with talent and potential that she doesn't even know she has. time has gone by entirely too fast. i hate it.

this kid. my baby. he's awesome. he stopped letting me carry him to bed recently. sure it was awkward when his feet were dragging the ground. and i kept dropping him. whatever. 

he rarely takes a picture with a normal face. 

he can annoy his sister at the drop of a hat.  it's a gift. 

he loves to be with his family.  unless it's somewhere where his friends are. then he prefers them fully. almost like we have the plague.  

he's gifted according to his teachers. and his test scores. but i say the jury is still out. the kid has been working on a rubik's cube for weeks. don't they have youtube videos for that?  gifted.

to say he's athletic is an understatement. some kids are born with talent. some work really hard to achieve their goals. he's both. 

he's the most accident prone person i know.  truly. he takes my breath away.

they make me crazy. they make each other crazy. i yell. a lot. 

i love them all.

-stacy

a triumphant return to nothing

here we go again, people.  a blog.  about nothing.  and everything.  you will likely be disappointed on a frequent basis.  you might want to tell me.  or share that sentiment with friends and family.  i'm okay with that.  i have a super absorbent pillow that i cry into at night.

when i started this whole blogging business several years ago, the kids were younger.  and funnier.  i was younger.  much younger.  things were going well.  it was easy.  my posts were funny informative.  my mother in law was happy that she could see the kids and our adventures.

my mom didn't really know how to use the internet then, but she has since learned.  she can snoop on facebook using my dad's account like a pro. high five, mom.

then i quit took a two year hiatus.  shortly followed by another two year hiatus.  at least i'm consistent, right?  so, i'm giving it a third shot.  i'm older.  much older and wiser now.  it has new-ish name. new material. same people, but we've really amped up our game.

i mean, big time.

so chew on that for a day.  i'll be back with proper introductions tomorrow.

-stacy